WOW!!! I cannot believe that I hit my one year mark this week. On Thursday it will be the one year mark. It has not felt like I have been out that long.
I started to think back to the things I have learned and I was amazed by the progress I have made as a person and as a missionary. The mission is by far the best decision I have ever made in my life. I am growing into the person that God wants me to become. I now realize that when I first got to the mission I was just one big punk. I only wanted to do what I wanted to do, and if anyone got in my way... oh boy, you best be watchin’ out.
My friends and I always had the joke that I had The Rage, or that I would get super angry all the time. And that was true. I want to take this short little time to apologize to everyone out there that had to experience my attitude. I now realize I had so many weaknesses and I was so far away from being Christ like. So sorry again. :D
The mission really has changed me for the better. Each and every day is a new challenge, but every day is a new day to change, learn, and grow. I like to think of the change a little bit like working out. I know I have shared this before but I love it so much. It explains it perfectly. When we work out, it hurts! We are literally tearing down our muscles. When I first got to the mission it was exactly like this. I was a very weak person, I wasn’t very Christ like and I had a lot of pride. So from day one, Christ began to break me down. Just like when we are breaking down our muscles, it hurts. When we give more effort it hurts even more. As missionaries, we are required to give all our heart, might, mind, and strength. So when I began to do that, it began to hurt even more. Christ literally began to break down my weaknesses, my bad habits, my faults, and everything that was not in line with Him. There have been many days where I have been so beat down I just wanted to sit there and cry. Just like after a workout, there is nothing better than just sitting there and taking a break. But when the next day comes, and your muscles have healed, what do you do? You break them down again. This has happened so much in my mission. I rise up, or heal my spiritual muscles, and then Christ breaks me down again showing me that I need to humble myself and give everything to Him. But each and every time this happens…I get a little stronger. Each and every time we go to the gym…we get a little stronger. If we give it our all… we get a little stronger. Here in the mission it is the same; for the missionaries who give it their all they change. They become a little stronger. I have seen so many blessings that have come from Christ and His atonement. I have been built into the person God wants me to become. I have been giving it my all and God is literally reshaping me into a better person. I know I still have a long way to go, I am not done, and this process will not be finished in this life. But, I am becoming stronger in this Gospel each and every day. I am so grateful for my decision to give up the World, and serve Christ.
This week I studied a lot about giving up the world and loving God. I started to read Scriptures like 2 Nephi 9:50:
Come, my brethren, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters ; and he that hath no money , come buy and eat; yea, come buy wine and milk without money and without price.